Mental Prep

                                                                             {Source: via Megan on Pinterest


I’ve been thinking about this upcoming weekend a lot and not in the way that you would think, it being Easter and all.

This weekend I have to go to a baby shower.

It’s for one of my best friends, so yes, I have to suck it up and go.

I honestly can’t remember the last time I went to a baby shower, and that’s been perfectly fine for me!

This friend and I have known each other the longest out of all of our friends.  We became attached at the hip in third grade when we first met at church and I said something about my boobies being sore.  Yes, my non-existent boobies. Haha!  We didn’t live very far from each other and were at one or the other’s house almost every day.  This is the friend that I always told “the facts of life” to.  My mom told me I should right a book called “The Facts of Life” because I’d always tell Colleen that this or that was just “the facts of life”.  I’m obviously the older, wiser one since I’m eight months older than her. ;0)  As we grew up we didn’t remain connected at the hip, but we remain best friends, along with two others in our little circle.

While I’m happy for Colleen, I’m not exactly looking forward to being around all this baby talk.  I’m always the one that feels insecure, left out and not able to completely understand where everyone else is coming from because I’m only an auntie and not a mommy, so I don’t know everything when it comes to babies.  I’m the odd man out and it just sucks.

But, because this is one of my best friends, I’m going to put on my happy face and go show my support for this little one that’s going to make her appearance at any time now.

The other thing I’m not looking forward to is getting together with my inlaw’s.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I love my inlaw’s.  We’ve even vacationed with them on multiple occasions.

Kyle and I just have a feeling that we’re going to get some news that we’ve been anticipating but aren’t looking forward to.

We’re pretty sure that my SIL is pregnant.

I honestly don’t know how I’ll react when she tells us.

As I’ve mentioned a million times, I’m really not a crier.  However, it’s been known to catch me off-guard at times.  So even though we’re mentally preparing ourselves, and have been for about a month, it could still hit me like a ton of bricks.

The hard thing about this is that she is six years younger than us and has only been married about three years.  So yes, it’s inevitable that this is going to be their next step, but that doesn’t make it any easier on us.

I want to be happy for them, and honestly I will be, but it’s just another occurrence of us being passed by and it just hurts.  It definitely doesn’t get easier to get this kind of news.  And I suppose I’m putting the cart before the horse since she hasn’t said anything yet, but there are just some things that have been said and done that make us think that this is coming.

So while this weekend should be {and will be} about celebrating Jesus and His Resurrection, it’s going to be about babies, babies, babies and me trying to hold it all together!



  1. I totally feel you. I just told a very good friend I couldn’t attend her shower, because I just can’t right now.

    Good luck. It’s allergy season…maybe that would help if eyes get watery?

  2. (((HUGS))) I wish I had something brilliant to say.

    I’m always the odd lady out too, and even though people don’t mean any harm, it still stings every. single. time.

  3. I’m so sorry, Megan:( Sounds like not a very fun weekend – I don’t blame you for not looking forward to it! I have been there and I know how very much it hurts..there really are no “right” words here, just know I’ll be thinking of you and praying for you, my friend. Hope the painful moments are fleeting and fly by quickly for you. ((HUGE HUGS))

  4. Hi Megan. It’s my first time here. Just googled infertility blogs and you popped right up! I get it, oddly enough I am going to a baby shower a week from Saturday. I received the invitation a couple hours after my RE called the day after my egg retrieval to tell me we had no embryos. True story. Felt like my heart ripped apart as I opened that stupid invitation. I don’t want to go, I can’t fathom how I will go buy her a gift. All I do is cry and I just don’t see how I will hold it together when everyone is oohing and ahhing over the lovely little clothes and gifts. I just wanted to tell you I know how you are feeling, I’ll be thinking of you this weekend, good luck.

  5. That sucks.
    People with babies are stupid… ok, not really, but still.
    That sucks.
    Text me this weekend if you feel like it.
    We can talk and stuff.

  6. megan, i just love reading your posts. i can always relate on some level.
    the video had me laughing and smirking.
    you and your husband are an inspiration. wishing you lots of luck this weekend and a happy easter <3

  7. All the mental prep in the world, and it can still hit you like a ton of bricks. I have no good words to say, but I will be thinking good thoughts for you this weekend, that you find peace or at least composure somehow. I knwo I always had a sick sense of satisfaction on some level when someone I *knew* must be pg announced it. It twisted me up inside but I took a dark satisfaction at how good my pgcy radar was.

  8. I just started reading your blog and I love it! I remember when my SIL told us (actually texted us) that she was pregnant last July, I almost threw up, it was awful. She just had her baby last week and that was awful too. Oh, and I haven’t been to a baby shower in two years.

  9. I’m also new to your blog. I have a little different story. I have one child so I know how amazing it is to have a baby. I hope it is okay that I am making a comment. I know that some women who are not able to have ANY babies get kinda negative to women with secondary infertility. I have had it happen to me. They always say to be content with what I have. I am so happy with my son but that doesn’t stop me from wanting another baby, sisters and brothers for my son and just one more body in our family to love. Anyway, we have tried to have more kids for 5 years with one miscarriage in their which was a death. I have a blog at if you want to read about any infertility and coping. I NEVER go to baby showers. I steer clear of any baby stuff and people usually understand and if they don’t I know they are not true friends. Out of all my friends, I am the only one with unexplained secondary infertility. I have several who have had miscarriages but they have all gone on to have babies and fulfill their dreams. I have enjoyed reading your posts and its encouragement has been a blessing.

  10. Hope it went ok! I had planned to go to one of my best friends baby showers a couple months ago and about a month before I basically had a melt down and had to tell her there was just no way I could handle it. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do but she ended up understanding and it’s been so freeing ever since. I hope your experience went well! You’re a tougher girl than I am to go!! Praying you’re doing good!!

  11. Crys, if only I could blame allergies. I {fortunately, unfortanately?} am not bothered by the climate. Thankfully it went ok though so no tears were shed.

    {{{hugs}}} to you too, Cole. No brilliant words necessary. Just to know I’ve got you guys in my corner, helps. 🙂

    Thanks Brittney! Your prayers help immensely!

    Oh Kim! That’s awful! I’m so sorry and I hope that it goes ok for you!! {{{HUGS}}}

    Eve, you made me laugh! 🙂 Sorry I didn’t text you, but you know I love you! xoxo

    Maria, thank you and I’m glad to know that we can be some sort of inspiration even when we don’t feel like it at all.

    Surpriseofunfolding, thank you! And yes, I am always proud of my pregnancy radar, even though those announcements hurt. 😉

    Amanda Rae, ugh, that sucks! 🙁 A text? I definitely appreciate it when people take the time to actually call or tell us in person! (((HUGS))) to you!

    Thanks Jami, and feel free to comment any time! Infertility is infertility, period! Brittney up above has infertility/secondary infertility, too and I love her anyway. 😉 We’ve got to stick together whether it’s first or secondary infertility. I avoid baby stuff if I can but with so many friends/family having babies during our years of infertility, it’s pretty hard to avoid it completely.

    Thanks Lindsey! We’ve got to do whatever we can to keep our sanity during these times! I’m glad your friend was understanding. I’ve avoided plenty of baby showers but I knew that I had to go to this one and thankfully it was small and went well. 🙂

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