Facebook Is Not My Friend

Today I was out and about doing some last minute shopping and I happened to check Facebook when I got  back in the car.  One of the first things I saw was one of my BEST FRIENDS sharing that she’s having a girl.

Um….

I didn’t even KNOW she was pregnant to begin with!

I’ve been texting with her the last couple of days so I sent her a text:

“Why am I finding out from FB that you’re pregnant?”

And I waited for the response.

I got a call from her a few minutes later.

“Meeegggaaaannnnn…..”

“Yessssss?”

Then she apologized.  She said that she thought I already knew.  I asked her how I would know if she hadn’t told me.  She said that she made a post on FB a few weeks ago.  I told her that, again, I wouldn’t have wanted to find out she was pregnant from FB then either, especially since she IS one of my BEST FRIENDS {since 3rd grade!}.

She said that they had told everyone at her daughters birthday party, which I wasn’t able to attend because it was the day we were leaving for Florida.

Anyway, it just hurt my feelings that I had to find out from Facebook.  My friends and I don’t talk often so usually when I DO receive a phone call from them I can predict the reason why they’re calling but I still would appreciate a phone call, at the least, instead of finding out online.

*sigh*

Facebook can be such a bitch sometimes!

I told her that I forgive her and I told her Congratulations.  I AM happy for her.

I’m just being left in the dust left and right.  It never gets easier to hear the news of someone’s impending birth.

I guess while I’m on the subject, since I’ve been meaning to post about pregnancies and infertility for awhile, I’ll also mention that my sister-in-law and her hubby have been married for three years.  I know that getting pregnant is at least on their mind.

Kyle talked with his mom recently about something else and the subject of Heidi getting pregnant came up.  I guess my MIL said that my SIL is worried about how we’ll react if she does get pregnant before me, which is likely since we’ve been TTC for 9 flippin years with no pregnancy in sight.

While I’ll eventually be happy for them, it is going to be SO bittersweet!  She is six years younger than us and it’s one thing being past up by my friends my age, you know?  But being past up by those that are so much younger than me just stings really badly!

When we first got back from Florida, my mom and I went to dinner and we had a really honest conversation about quite a few different things that we’ve both been holding back on.  One of the things I had been holding in since I was in like 9th grade or something like that.  I didn’t think I would ever tell her but I did.  The wine probably helped.  Liquid courage and all. ;0)

Anyway, I don’t remember if I ever mentioned it here, but my {ex}step-sister is pregnant with twins.  I saw a picture of her the other day and she’s gonna pop soon but I can’t remember her due date.  I found out she was pregnant when she was about 12 or so weeks along.  Again, it was another punch to the gut.  It is my DREAM to have twins.  I’ve seriously wanted twins for as long as I can remember.  And now she is having twins.  I haven’t seen her since back when I first found out.  We’re not close. But I’m just waiting to see the announcement on FB that her babies are here.

So when we were in Florida, my MIL and I were walking through the largest Disney store there is.  We were in the Princess part of the store and I saw a Tinkerbell dress and I said that it was SO cute and that one day when we have a daughter, I didn’t care HOW much the dress was, I would be buying one for her.  My MIL said that Gramma would buy one for her and then I said something about her having her daddy wrapped around her little finger and HE would be the one to buy it for her.  It was just another bittersweet moment in my life.

Back to the dinner I had with my mom, I was telling her about this conversation between my MIL and me and I just started crying, right there in the bar of the restaurant.  Thank God it was dim lighting because I felt like a moron bawling there but I couldn’t stop the tears {and I don’t cry often, I guess I needed a good cleansing}.  Then I was talking about how my step-sister was living out my dream.  How it’s not fair and how it hurts especially with her because we were so close growing up.  It hits just too close to home.

My mom sat there and cried with me and it was nice that I could share my heart with her since it’s not often that we sit down and have these type of conversations.

This time of year the infertility just hits me so hard and it makes it even worse with all of these different pregnancies popping up and impending births just around the corner.

I would just like to know when it’s gonna me MY turn.  I mean, seriously.  What is there to learn with 9 years of TTC under our belt?

Anyone got an extra $30 grand laying around they want to donate to the “Megan & Kyle Infertility Fund”?  Cuz I certainly wouldn’t say no!

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Comments

  1. I just found your blog and have been reading your past few posts. I recently stopped going on FB for similar reasons. As a fellow infertile, I can relate :/ Glad I found your blog 🙂
    Rachel
    Asartiparty.blogspot.com

  2. Nice posts, i’m very like it. It’s very helpfull.
    KEEP SPIRIT BLOGGING !
    busana muslim

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