The Pits Of Despair

The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,
Nahum 1:7 (NIV).

I don’t know how many of you pay attention to the bible verses over there on the right, but whenever I look at my blog, it’s one of the first things I look at.  It’s different every time the page is loaded and I love seeing what is going to speak to me.

The above verse was the one that was just loaded for me and I think I really needed that reminder today.

I know I haven’t really said anything all that worth while on here lately.  I’ve kind of been down in the dumps, in the “pits of despair” ala Anne of Anne of Green Gables {the movie was on tv recently and I LOVED watching it, twice! … edited: actually, I think she calls it the depths of despair, but same meaning. ;0P}, feeling the blahs.

Christmas and New Year’s have come and gone and I still haven’t posted about our get together’s.  I just haven’t felt like blogging.

I’ve also been spending my days applying for every job I possibly can that has to do with health care.

I need a job and I need a job NOW.

Kyle hasn’t been paid since Christmas Eve and even that wasn’t very much.  Just enough to get us by, at that moment.  My unemployment is gone.  I’ve been on unemployment for almost two years and there’s nothing left for me.

The other day my sister was in a pinch so I went to watch the boys for a few hours.  I wasn’t sure if I was even going to make it there because I was driving on fumes, literally.  Her husband gave me $10 so I could make it home.

My mom came over the next day to see our Christmas lights and to give me a few things.  While she was here she gave me a few bucks to get us by this week.

I’ve been getting pretty inventive on our dinners and using what’s in the cupboards because I don’t have a choice.  I don’t even have enough money right now to go and get gas to go places so I’ve been cooped up at home all week.

I don’t say all of this for sympathy just to tell you the state of my mind right now.

There are so many worse things going on right now, for others, than me and I realize that.  I know that what we’re going through at the moment is just a bump in the road.  But it still sucks.

I’ve scoured the internet for jobs and applied to all that I can.  Out of desperation I even applied at Starbucks although they’re going to wonder why I want a job there when I should be looking for a job in health care.  I just really, really, REALLY need someone to call me about a job like, yesterday.

Anyway, as I’m sitting here fretting, I know that I need to lean on Jesus because he’s the Ultimate Provider and I know that the perfect job is out there for me.  I just need to trust that he’s got it all in his hands.  I need to remember the verse above and take comfort in knowing that Jesus is taking care of us and our needs.  He’s not going to leave us or forsake us.

{Courtesy of Google Images}


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