Aloha Friday

It’s Aloha Friday over at An Island Life!

Answer my question and make sure you post one on your blog!

After that, go relax because today is Friday!!

Question for you this week is:

What book(s) are you reading right now, or have you read so far this summer?
My answer:

I recently finished Under the Overpass. It was really good and eye-opening. I haven’t started a new one yet.

———————————————————————————————————-
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’

And then the fight started…

******************************************

My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”
while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And then the fight started….

******************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed,
made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly
into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck,
and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into
the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that
the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and
slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s
back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
“The weather out there is terrible.”

My loving wife of 10 years replied, “Can you believe
my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”

And then the fight started….

******************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly the other driver got
out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get
soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
shouted, “I AM NOT HAPPY!!!”

So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”

And then the fight started…..

*****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started…

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked
me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in
my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I
told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my
shirt revealing my curly silver hair.. She said, ‘That silver
hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she
processed my Social Security application

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You
might have gotten disability, too…’

And then the fight started….

***************************************** *

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging
her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand
she took to drinking right after we split up those many
years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started….

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first.
“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?””
Nah, she can order for herself.”

And then the fight started…

******************************************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And then the fight started…..

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]
signature

Comments

  1. I recently joined a book club and we’re reading Anna Karenina.

  2. Right now I am reading Finger Lickin Fifteen by Janet Evanovich. It’s a series…I don’t like them as much as I used to so it’s taking me a while to get through what should otherwise be a pretty quick read!

  3. Those jokes are hilarious!

    I am currently reading Remember Me by Sophia Kinsella and The Time Travellers Wife by…well whatever her name is

  4. I’ve read about 20 books this summer – most recently I finished Tallgrass by Sandra Dallas (excellent), The Ginseng Hunter by Jeff Talarigo (also excellent), and The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart (very fun). Now, what to read next?

  5. Let’s see…this summer I’ve read

    Escape, by Carolyn Jessop
    Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall
    Mommywood by Tori Spelling
    and
    In Plain Sight by Tom Smart

    All good!

  6. Great jokes! I was having a wonderful laugh reading.

    I just finished the Harry Potter series again. I read them in about a week & my brain is on overload!

  7. I had to share these with my hubby, he thought they were funny too!! Currently reading The Game Before The Game.

  8. I have read too many books this summer to even list because I love to read!

    I love these jokes – they made me laugh out loud and want to send certain ones to certain people 🙂 haha

  9. I read these jokes aloud to my husband. They were awesome!

  10. I read these jokes aloud to my husband. They were awesome!

  11. I just finished reading Good Things by Mia King. Tonight I hope to finish the second book called Table Manners that just came out this week. After that I would like to finally read The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs. So many books to read and too many of the kid books getting in the way.

  12. I’ve been reading the same book all summer long. I just haven’t been into reading. It’s called Tribute by Nora Roberts

  13. I am reading Understanding Other People.

  14. Just finished Cocktails for Three by Madeleine Wickham, and am starting A Round-Heeled Woman. Gotta love vacation reading!

  15. I’m reading 3 books right now… Truth or Dare (by Nicole O’Dell a fellow blogger), A Clash of Kings and the No cry Nap Solution!!
    I love the jokes… I’ve read them all before, but they get me laughing every time.

  16. I haven’t really read books this summer. I have spent more time doing word puzzle books and reading magazines.

  17. Great jokes! I needed and related to a few of those this morning!

    I stood in the adult (not to be confused with XXX) book section at Target last night and saw at least 10 books that I would love to get my hands on.

    I need to make more time for that because I LOVE to read.

    Have a great weekend!

  18. Right now I’m reading a book called “Miss Invisible” about an overweight single Christian woman trying to make it in the “skinny world”… its adorable!

  19. Earlier in the summer I finished the Twilight Series. Now I’m about to start on Sophie Kinsella’s new book. Can’t wait!

Speak Your Mind

*

MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected | | Get your own free Blogoversary button! | Online Marketing - OnToplist.com |

Hit Counter
Visitors Since February 2, 2009