Aloha Friday

It’s Aloha Friday over at An Island Life!

Answer my question and make sure you post one on your blog!

After that, go relax because today is Friday!!

Question for you this week is:

What do you do to keep cool in extreme heat?
My answer:

Because this week has been insanely out of the normal for the area, everyone is doing whatever they can to keep cool, including late night swimming at local lakes and renting motel rooms with a/c. For me, I’m going to bed with wet washcloths, fans blowing and spending as much time near bodies of water that I can. I’m also drinking anything cold I can get my hands on!

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Studying the twinkies

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments:

Exposure

A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie’s surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds, even pigeons, avoided this potential source of substance. Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the filling however, retained its advertised “creaminess”

Radiation

A Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for precisely 4 minutes – the approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 seconds, the oven began to emit the Twinkie’s rich, characteristic aroma of artificial butter. After one minute, this aroma began to resemble the acrid smell of burning rubber. The experiment was aborted after 2 minutes 10 seconds when thick, foul smoke began billowing from the top of the oven. A second Twinkie was subjected to the same experiment; this Twinkie leaked molten white filling. When cooled, this now epoxylike filling bonded the Twinkie to its plate, defying gravity: it was removed only upon application of a butter knife. Extreme Force

A Twinkie was dropped from a ninth-floor window, a fall of approximately 120 feet. It landed right side up, then bounced onto its back. The expected “splatter” effect was not observed. Indeed, the only discernible damage to the Twinkie was a narrow fissure on its underside; otherwise, the Twinkie remained structurally intact.

Extreme Cold

A Twinkie was placed in a conventional freezer for 24 hours. Upon removal, the Twinkie was not found to be frozen solid, but its physical properties had noticeably “slowed”. The filling was found to be the approximate consistency of acrylic paint, while exhibiting the mercurylike property of not adhering to practically any surface. It was noticed the Twinkie had generously absorbed the freezer odors.

Extreme Heat

A Twinkie was exposed to a gas flame for 2 minutes. While the Twinkie smoked and blackened and the filling in one of its “cream holes” boiled, the Twinkie did not catch fire. It did, however produce the same “burning rubber” aroma noticed in the irradiation experiment.

Immersion

A Twinkie was dropped into a large bucket filled with water, the Twinkie floated momentarily, then began to list and sink. Viscous yellow tendrils ran off its lower half, possibly consisting of a water-soluble artificial coloring. After 2 hours, the Twinkie bloated substantially. Its coloring was now a very pale tan – in contrast to the yellow, urine-like water that surrounded it. The Twinkie bobbed when touched, and had a gelatinous texture. After 72 hours, the Twinkie had increased roughly 200 percent of its original size. The water had turned opaque, and a small, fan-shaped spray of filling had leaked from one of the “cream holes”. Unfortunately, efforts to remove the Twinkie for further analysis were abandoned when, under light pressure the Twinkie disintegrated into an amorphous cloud of debris. A distinctly sour odor was noted.

Summary of Results

The Twinkie’s survival of a 120-foot drop, along with some of the unusual phenomena associated with the “creamy filling” and artificial coloring, should give pause to those observers who would unequivocally categorize the Twinkie as “food”. Further clinical inquiry is required before any definite conclusions can be drawn.

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Not that I can even remember the last time I ate a Twinkie, but I don’t think I’ll ever be eating one again!!
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Comments

  1. Fla-Vor-Ice
    You know, the popsicles in the clear plastic tube that you freeze all at once?

    They’re pure sugar
    But I honestly have LIVED on them this summer.

    Other than that, all I can suggest is another weather switch. We still have 71 degrees, plenty of rain, and low humidity here. What gives?

  2. Yeah, I will never eat another twinkie!

    Luckily the house I work at 10 hours a day has AC. Phew!

  3. Good thing I think Twinkies are nasty already and don’t like them!
    Interesting weather, we are usually the ones with upper 90’s and 100 degree weather with 100% humidity here in KY. This year it’s barely made 86 let alone the 90’s on a handful of days. This morning it’s 64, and surprise raining AGAIN!!
    Have a great weekend! Love Your Blog!

  4. I keep all of the blinds in our apartment closed during the day. It makes it look like a cave but it really keeps the temperature down.

    Frannie

  5. Hawaiian Shave Ice is a GREAT way to keep cool! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. We had a lock in with the youth once where we took Twinkies – pulled the cream out & filled them with baby food… meat flavored baby food too!!! And had a Twinkie eating contest.. their reaction – the puking…. I cant look at Twinkie’s anymore!

  7. I never ate twinkies, but let my kids…no more of that!!

  8. I drink a lot of iced beverages and stay inside with the A/C!

  9. Yup, I read that stuff a while back on Twinkies. I haven’t eaten one since. Ewwwwwwww

  10. Well, I work in an air conditioned office, drive in an air conditioned car, and live in an air conditioned home so I must say I love air conditioning. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Funny you write about the twinkie today because I just tried one the other day to see if they were as good as people say they are.

    Nope, no flavor, totally stiff and even the cream filling was disgusting. I seriously don’t know why people like those things!

    As far as keeping cool, we like to go boating! And eating frozen yogurt is a must!

  12. I keep the air conditioner on and I drink a lot of ice cold water.

  13. Thankfully we dont have extreme heat here but when I go to really hot places, I crank the a/c

  14. We go to the beach and drink lots of ice water. Aloha!

  15. This year I haven’t had to do anything really! It has been a very cool summer, lot’s of 60’s, maybe 70’s. I am secretly craving a really hot day so I can cool off in the pool!

  16. Believe it or not it has been shown that drinking hot drinks can keep you cooler in the summer heat. You should try it.

  17. Im in AZ so the heat isnt anything new here! But we also have AC so I dont have to suffer!

  18. I run our a/c ALL DAY!

  19. We use fans and open all of the doors. But really this summer for us has been super mild.

  20. We use fans and open all of the doors. But really this summer for us has been super mild.

  21. I don’t think I’ll ever eat a Twinkie again…it’s been so long since I’ve had one. ๐Ÿ™‚

    When we didn’t have air conditioning, I’d go for drives since the vehicle was air conditioned. Now we have window units, so that helps = and I drink lots of iced beverages. ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. Ok this is going to sound insane but Greg does this crazy thing for really hot nights. He calls it a Chillow.

    He takes a Glad ziploc bag (he insists it has to be Glad because he has tried other brands and they all leaked – Glad is the only one with no leakage) and he fills it with ice cubes and then puts it inside his pillowcase.

    He swears that it won’t leak in the night and it keeps you very cool!

    Here’s hoping for cooler week!

  23. When it’s really hot out…I love it. We have a/c so we have the luxury of being outside, playing…sweating…and then coming in. We stop the ice cream truck. We play in the kiddie pool and hose. We go swimming when we can get to a pool. I go running. ๐Ÿ™‚

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