Tell Me Your Infertility Success Stories

I’ve been thinking about this A LOT lately.

Like, how in the world am I supposed to KNOW what we’re supposed to do?

I can say that in the past year, my heart has definitely become more open to adoption. But I don’t even know how we would go about doing that, let alone PAY for it.

But at the same time, I so desperately want to have a biological child. I want to be pregnant. I want to feel a baby move inside of me. I want to breastfeed and have the sleepless nights that every mother wishes she didn’t have to have but at the same time wouldn’t trade for the world. I want the late night / early morning snuggles.

I just want everything that comes with being pregnant, although I know the last couple things I listed I could have with an adopted baby, too.

But right now, we do NOT have the money, any money, to do fertility treatments.

However, I have a friend that has so graciously told me that as soon as she gets out of her first trimester, she’s going to donate some of her costly fertility drugs to me.

To me, that’s a total blessing. I don’t want them to go to waste but at the same time, I don’t know where we’re going to get the money to even DO an IUI with injectibles. At the same time, is this a blessing from GOD? Is he trying to tell me that we’re SOME HOW going to get the money to pay off what we already owe to the clinic, plus get the opportunity to do another cycle?

I just don’t know and I don’t GET HOW I’ll know WHAT we’re supposed to be doing! I’ve been praying so much about all this, lately. I’m so confused and conflicted because of the unknown.

What I want to know, from those of you out there that have gone through this, is HOW you knew. Did God provide the way? Or was it something that you were just able to do on your own because of insurance coverage, savings, or something else?

Because right now, ANYTHING we do is going to have to be through God alone. I’m trying my darnest to put my faith in God and let him lead and provide the way, but at the same time I can’t stop THINKING about it! Like, my mind has been far from work because it’s consuming my thoughts.

Tell me your stories. Please.
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Comments

  1. visted fist 4 uu, nice and smile 4uu, Thanks for your feel. http://standarpenilaian.blogspot.com/

  2. I was going to a clinic for about 6 months. I have other health issues you’ve probably already read about on my blog.

    Our insurance covered fertility treatment so we were very lucky with that aspect. I believe in Illinois there is a law that insurance has to cover some sort of fertility treatments.

    We started with clomid and IUI’s. We did them for 3 months with no luck. We then moved on to persuing adoption. We found out on 9/11 that wouldn’t be an option. I really didn’t know if I could get through an IVF cycle (RE didn’t believe in injectible cycles)…so we decided to wait until the new year.

    I found out at the end of October that we had gotten pregnant by ourselves.

    I truly believe unto this day that my daughter was a miracle. And I’m very grateful for her.

    I don’t share this story with you to make you sad, just to let you know praying and leaning on God is probably the best thing you can do right now.

  3. I don’t really have any stories. Maybe I will one day. I had my twins early, but I know I will now have trouble conceiving in the future. I am so sorry for your anguish. One day you will get your dream. Whether it be through your own pregnancy, adoption, or surrogacy.

  4. I think you have your faith in the right spot. I have never had fertility problems, but I watched my mom many yrs. ago w/ hers. After a couple of surgeries and fertility drugs she was able to have 3 more children. The third one just came on his own no drugs. I don’t know what your issues are with this problem but I sure hope you can find a way!!! You probably hear this a lot, my dil was trying for 2 yrs. she gave up and decided to go back to school and concentrate on work, she was pregnant in 2 months. I don’t have any answers. Just keep praying you will get answers to your questtions and know which way to go.

  5. I don’t have a “success” story…I don’t know if God himself led to me IUI or if it was just something we decided…I think God luckily put me in the only clinic in my area (reg. obgyn) that does IUI’s vs. going to a fertility clinic 2+ hours away where IUI’s would cost us soo much more than they have been now…I wish that God would just shout out “THIS IS A SIGN FROM ME….” vs. us wondering if this is a sign or if this is just me hoping it’s a sign…God places certain things in our life and in our journey to tell us it will be ok, we just have to listen with our hearts…if my Dr office didn’t do IUI’s and there was no obgyn in my area who did we sure wouldn’t be doing what we are doing…adoption and IVF or a clinic is just soo much more expensive…so I am sort of in the same boat as you with that decision…

    Your in my prayers sweetie!!!

  6. I will give you my success story but I want you to pay attention to the price we were willing to pay to have this story.

    Our issues are primarily male factor (low count). I may have some secondary stuff (mild PCOS)that played into it as well. We managed to fund 2 IVF attempts, both of which failed. To do that, we got a loan against my retirement and husband’s work (at the time) paid for some stuff which is extremely rare in our State.

    We were told by our Doctor to give up and adopt. I also looked into donor insemination as an option but quickly realized the post-thaw counts for donors were similar to husbands so I decided perhaps I’d given up too quickly on the hubs.

    There are 13 states that REQUIRE infertility coverage by law with varying limitations, Massachusetts being the most liberal coverage. We would have moved there if necessary to get treated.

    Instead, we took a job 2 states away that paid my husband a lot more money- money we could use to keep trying. We gave up the comfort of our friends and family. We gave up living in our brand new house we’d spent 9 months building but only lived in for 3 and moved into a crappy little apartment. I gave up my cushy job. We sacrificed everything we had on the HOPE that we’d be able to get the thing we wanted most.

    I believe because we demonstrated this willingness to sacrifice that the Lord finally blessed us with our heart’s desire. We had a friend who donated some leftover meds to us. I had done a lot of my own research into our issues and possible solutions and talked with the doctor about the protocol I wanted to follow for an IUI. We didn’t expect the IUI to work but we wanted the new doctor to get familiar with my body.

    The day of the insemination my hubby’s count was 10 times higher than it had been at the last test. We became pregnant with twins. They are now 8. 2 years later we did the same treatment but with lower meds and got pregnant again on the first try with a singleton. I went from childless to 3 kids ages 3 and under!

    Even if the fertility stuff hadn’t worked, the move paved the way to higher income which would have helped us fund an adoption.

    I know you THINK you can’t afford to solve your problem but what are you willing to sacrifice to do it? Are you willing to move to one of those 13 states? Are you willing to work extra jobs or find an employer in your own state who offers coverage and change jobs? Are you willing to get whatever training/education/skills are necessary to land a job that will help pay expenses? There are MANY possible solutions but all will require sacrifice from you.

    There’s a wonderful message board that was my salvation as I navigated this complicated problem. It’s called fertilethoughts dot net. You can learn a ton from the women there including creative ways to fund the treatments you need. Check it out. May you be blessed with the child you dream of. And SOON!

  7. I just wanted to add that all our sacrifices turned out not to be as much of a sacrifice as we thought.

    We were able to move home, back to our same house after the babies were out of the hospital. Because of the move, husband was able to make A LOT more money back here at home which meant not only did we get our same house but we could now afford it on one income so I got to be a stay-at-home Mom. Our relationships with our families grew because of the distance and effort we put in.

    In short, we gained tremendous experience as a couple and ultimately all we ‘gave up’ was restored to us and more. Have faith but know that faith without works is dead.

  8. Hang in there – I’ll be sending you prayers and good thoughts.

  9. This isn’t my success story. My mom was told that it was impossible for her to get pregnant and if she happened to beat the unbelievable odds she was told it was impossible to carry a baby. She believed God could do it like Hannah in the bible and waited for 4 years. She actually went to a prayer meeting and some ladies laid hands on her and prayed for her. A month later she was pregnant with me:) Then you know she went on to have 3 more. Every time she stopped breast feeding she got pregnant again until they finally got some permanent birth control. There’s no question it was a miracle.

    I have been reading in the book of Joshua about the Isrealites coming into the land of promise and how they faced impossible odds with what seemed like giants. They were told to go in and possess the land that had been promised to them. I keep thinking “what are our giants?” Our credit cards are giants for us and I’m looking forward to seeing God fight that battle for us, giving us direction on what our part is. When things look completely impossible there’s room for God to move. I pray that God moves in your hearts and lives and is glorified.

    Love you!

  10. No stories here… we just got married 15 months ago and are waiting for the right timing —

    But I wanted you to know that I believe for you!!

  11. I admire you strength. As a man, I may never fully understand the magnitude of your desire–But I feel the concept. I also admire those that support you in your endeavors. Bravo to all.

    Ever Yours,
    Clayrn Darrow
    M.IV

  12. sending you lots of hugs & prayers…

  13. I haven’t had to deal with infertility so I can only empathize with what you are going through. I do have a suggestion to help with your expenses.

    Adoption obviously isn’t covered by insurance so cost is a big issue with many adopting parents. Quite a few have some type of fund raiser. Have you considered that? Many successful ones that I have seen raffled off some large, desired item like a Wii or an SLS camera. I’ve seen some get as much as several thousand dollars.

    I wish you the best of luck!

  14. I love your blog….and have left you an award…come by and grab it when you can

  15. it took my aunt 8 years to get pregnant. she prayed and hoped and watched others (my mother included) all get pregnant around her. and then one day, it just clicked. her two daughters are the most loved children i know.

    it will happend for you. don’t give up hope!

  16. I think that putting your trust in God and believing that there is a a reason for everything is the way to get through.

    We eventually had our twins after being married for 11 years and trying for 10. We were going for an IVF cycle, cos they reckoned that was the best option, but ended up have an IUI because ‘only one follicle was stimulated. In order not to waste the drug cycle completely, we tried, IUI… with very little expectation and hope, and here we are!

    God doesn’t always answer prayers in the way we expect, or even want, and is good at surprising us…. but hope and faith are the way through.

    Good luck and success on your journey.

  17. We debated adoption for years now. After my last miscarriage I finally told my hubby I needed to ‘move on’ in a way and start focusing my time and energy into a “sure thing”. Obviously we’re hoping for both now, because like you, I WANT to be pregnant. I WANT to be nauseous and everything that comes along with being pregnant. I WANT to be big and fat and bloated. But I also need a family, and I needed to realize that there are other ways to obtain one. We chose to go the route of adopting an older child bc in our eyes, we just want a family and so do they. We’ve both been going through life for years now wanting someone to love and someone to love us, so it seems to fit for our situation.

    You’re answer will “come to you”…or at least it did to me when I was ready for it.

    (((Hugs)))

  18. My first daughter was conceived after 3 years of trying (2nd IVF). 3 cycles later, I conceived using frozen embryos.

    BTW this site is full of stories – http://www.fertilitystories.com (click on the “success stories” link to see just them).

    Good luck!!!

  19. Thank you for talking about your journey to parenthood…my husband and i are in the begining stages of this detour that we were not expecting – I pray every night that i will be able to carry my hubsands child, that we will have a baby together… I will continue to say prayers and keep you in my thoughts –
    Julie

  20. We went to St. Barnabas Hospital for IUI’s and after two failed attempts that lead to IVF. I was blessed to have 4 children through ONE full IVF cycle and 2 FET’s. My first pregnancy was twins, followed by a singleton, a miscarriage and another singleton.

    We had insurance and the financial means for treatment. But I was literally brought to my knees before God on TWO occasions. Reading the story of Hannah recently was very comforting for me while trying to recover from my miscarriage and get pregnant.

    My friends have a charity to help people with adoption. http://www.helpusadopt.org

  21. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories with me. It gives me encouragement and things to think about.

    I wish you all that are going through as well, peace and hopefully a baby really soon, too. I’ll be praying for all of you.

  22. hi; I just found your blog; I do so understand what you are going through; we were infertile years ago (I’m 51/hubby is 55). It was a low sperm count that prevented us from conceiving. Our insurance was no longer going to pay for treatment/surgery/etc so we made the decision to stop pursuing having a biological child and look into adoption; but we took a year to “heal”. I wasn’t walking with the Lord like I’m walking with him now but I would pray off and on about it.

    We did go on to adopt 2 kids who I believe the Lord wanted to be in our family; both come with remarkable stories that would take too long to write in a comment section.

    It was really hard in my younger days to be around friends/family members who were pregnant, as I did desire like you, to have a biological child, to feel him/her in my womb, to experience giving birth, etc. As I grew that desire became less and less, like an old friend that would come and visit but the friend visited less and stayed less

    The Lord did give me a wonderful opportunity and gift in a young woman I mentored and befriended where we used to live in Montana. She was pregnant with her second child and asked me to be with her and her hubby/mom in the delivery room when she delivered her baby (this was about 3 years ago). It was the most remarkable experience in my entire life to be part of it and to see the baby born. I thanked the Lord for that
    wonderful gift and experience and I will never forget it and it ranks in the top 5 of best days of my life.

    So it was a success story but not in a way you would measure success for infertility, but through it all, it did help me to grow closer to the Lord and to trust in him

    hugs to you; thank you for allowing us to read your story as you struggle with this

    betty

  23. I had secondary infertility. Everyone told me to relax it would happen…don’t obsess about it! Well, After 4 years, we got some help and after one IUI we were pregnant. 5 years later, I have 4 kids! Amazing. Miracles do happen…any way that they come. Hang in there!

  24. My BFF is considered high risk for pregnancy due to a stroke she had at 30. Several doctors recommended she not have a child naturally because it could kill her.

    My heart breaks for you both. But I just feel it, though that good people like you (and my BFF) God will find His ways of making you parents. 🙂

  25. My SIL was 40 when my brother and she got married. She wanted a child desperately. After many months of trying, the fertility specialist finally told her she had a deviated septum in her uterus and that she needed to go home and forget about having a baby. My SIL calls Sarah her miracle child as she was already pregnant with her baby when the fertility specialist told her she could not conceive. What do doctors know? They know nothing, but GOD does. Leave it to HIM, leave it all to HIM. Not in your time, but all in HIS due time. I will be praying for you.

  26. Waiting is so hard. Not knowing is hard. Wanting is hard. Having faith that it all will work out is hard. I actually have a post about part of my story on my blog called The Miracle. My wait was long and hard and I thought many times that God wasn’t listening to me, that somehow I wasn’t worthy to be a mother. I didn’t understand then and I still don’t today. There are some things in life that God makes us wait for, but I know if you keep praying your prayers will be answered. You will be blessed.

  27. I’m not even sure you’ll look this far back and see my comment, but I had to write to you. My husband and I tried for about five years to get pregnant. We decided against fertility treatments for us, the cost was high and I just didn’t think I could handle it. I prayed and prayed that God would just tell me what to do. The next day I went to work and when the newspaper came in to my classroom in the largest lettering that would fit across the page it said adoption. I took that as my sign. Justin and I got the money together for just the first stage of the process and trusted if that’s what God wanted the money would come.

    Then in January our homestudy was delayed due to snow. The next week, before our new date, I took a pregnancy test on a whim. I was pregnant. I had used False Unicorn root, over a month before, but it caused my cycles to regulate (I rarely ever ovulated) and I was pregnant. I’m not sure why I had felt so led to adoption, perhaps we will be able to adopt some day. We have two beautiful little girls, the second one was conceived on the FIRST try–my husband was in total shock), without the help of doctors. Truly God’s timing was perfect. We might have been ready for a baby when we started trying, but I can’t imagine our lives without the girls we have at the ages they are. I was able to stay home, which I couldn’t have done if they had come earlier. I know that it is hard to wait. God truly knows I’m the worst at it. I hope and pray that the right baby will come to you in the right timing, through the means God intends.

    Love and prayers.

  28. Just found your blog off of MckMama’s and thought I’d tell you our story.

    The question of how do you know what to do is hard! For us, we were lucky enough to live in a state where infertility is considered a medical condition and went through lots of treatments, including IVF and most of it was paid for. They were all unsuccessful despite the fact that we had minor problems, were healthy, and only 25.

    We moved to TN and tried to go on with our life. Adoption costs seemed insurmountable. My husband is a 4th grade teacher and I worked for a small Christian college – we were certainly not making enough money to spend $25,000 on adopting a child. However, we came to a certain point where we just jumped in. I couldn’t wait to be a mother any longer. We adopted our son from South Korea in 2004 and then our daughter from South Korea in 2008. These two children are the reason our IVF didn’t work – God had other plans for us and even if we didn’t understand it back then, we certainly can see His hand now. We have spent $48,000 in adoption expenses in the last 4 years, but are debt free. I am now a SAHM and my husband is still a 4th grade teacher. We sold our house, drive older cars and have no savings, but we do have two beautiful children. With alot of sacrifice on our part and God’s help, we were able to make it work. I believe that if there’s a will, then there is a way. Please don’t let money stop you from adopting if you ever feel the Lord leading you in that direction.

    I know that everyone’s journey takes them to different places and everyone arrives to parenting in different ways. It’s so hard to not know how to proceed. Praying you find direction soon.

  29. Here is our 9 year success story. When we got married in ’91 my husband was in the military. After a year of trying on our own for a baby we started the Dr. process. First we had to see the base clinic and eventually we were referred to the military hospital. After several months of clomid and IUI’s we found out we were pregnant on Halloween ’95 we were ecstatic. However Thanksgiving that year we lost that baby. We tried again unsuccessfully several times. Then my husband separated from the military and we returned home to where we were from. After settling in and finding jobs we started back on fertility treatments with out any success. I started a great new job and we working with our RE on one last IUI round before we would have to switch to IVF which we couldn’t afford. I found a great website that unfortunately is no longer around called goldfish dreams. There was an amazing woman who after several unsuccessful treatments decided to donate her left over meds. She chose us to donate to and sent me more than enough meds for our final attempt at IUI. (I took all the meds to the Dr. to have him look them over before we used them) Due to the wonderful woman who donated her meds we finally were able to conceive our Miracle Thanksgiving weekend 1999. He was born in August 2000. After I we were pretty sure this little one was going to stick I in turn donated my meds to a friend who went on to conceive quads.

    After our son was about 1 we decided to try for a second child. We went through several unsuccessful attempts and then I wound up with a reaction to the meds and was not willing to continue on the meds path. We talked about adoption but like you didn’t think we would ever be able to afford to adopt. Then one morning I saw a Thursday’s child segment on the news about a little girl looking for a forever home from the foster care system. It touched my heart and I woke up hubby to watch it. He contacted DCS that day and we began foster parenting classes a few weeks later. We got our foster care license early August 2004 and August 19 2004 we got a call asking us to take a set of sibings age 1 month and 19 months. We picked them up that night and adopted them June 23, 2005. We thought our home was complete with 3 kids 4 and under and we moved on with life. In January 2006 we got another call from the caseworker asking us to take a newborn, a newborn that was the sister to our to adopted children we couldn’t turn her away and we picked her up a couple of days later. We now had 4 kids 5 and under and were sure our life was complete. We adopted her in February 2007 and thought our family was complete. When she turned 2 1/2 we got another call the birth parents had just had another baby and would we take him as the parents were requesting us. We agreed and he has been with us for almost 11 months now. It looks like he will be joining us as a forever family member soon. The interesting part of adopting through foster care as that so far the only costs we have had to pay for the 3 adoptions thus far is about $500. Plus our kids keep their medicaid until they are 18 and we get Federal Adoption Subsidy until they are 18.

    Our success in building our family happened through the miracle of birth and adoption. I believe in my heart your miracle is coming. Big Hugs

  30. I have PCOS and now have 3 beautiful children. The cost is expensive as you have said with going through treatments. I’ve had 3 different docs when finally my last dr is the one who really understood me and my treatments. She actually has PCOS as well and is a wonderful dr, success rate is high.

    I believe I read in one of your posts that you aren’t certain if you have PCOS, an ultrasound is all that is needed to determine this. My infert/ob/gyn dr had it done and was covered under my insurance. I’m not sure what your insurance is. I used to work in Human Resources with benefits so I know a little about different insurance benefits. I do know that infert. isn’t just women, good “swimmers” are definitely needed. Hubby and I had AI procedure done with 2 of our 3 pregnancies where they put the little “swimmers” through a process to get the best, we even knew which ovary would be best to have the AI done near by all the ultrasounds done while I had the injections done. The injections I had done were Fertinex and Gonal F (this the generic for Fer. med) but we really found out for me it was releasing the eggs that was my difficulty so the last shot HCG med given to me helped released the egg.

    If you want me to share each of my stories with you the good, the bad, and the “painfully hormonal” ugly just email me: mel duzan at chaska dot net (no spaces). I don’t really want it all out there in cyberspace. Melissa

  31. I noticed these comment dates go from Jan to May.. so I thought it wasnt too late for me to comment.

    Here is a story of a friend.

    My hubby and I are in a lifegroup ( its a bible study for adults). Everyone else in the group except for us and another couple had kids. We realted to this other couple SO WELL. They had fertility issues.. they stayed up all night playing cranium. It was great.

    Here is their story when we met them. After 5 years of trying to have their own child and failing because of her PCOS, they had paperwork completed to turn in to adopt to little boys. The day before this adoption was finalized I met with my friend for prayer about our fertility issues. I was crying but thankful that I had my dear friend. She held me close and said, “I have numbers of specialist to give you..it worked for me.” They called off the adoption and found out they were expecting. ( dont worry, they never met the children they were suppost to adopt and the children didnt know they were about to be adopted..its a long story)

    I just stepped back and looked at her. I was in denial that it worked for her. Seriously GOD? Out of all of these couples, you make THEM pregnant. Dont get me wrong. They are the one couple that I am truly truly happy for.

    Their daughter Abby was born this June and our other life team members were due July, Aug, next is October and one more in November.

    So..success story yes. But I wanted to stress to you that I know how it feels to want to punch a pregnant woman in the face.

    -Renda

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