Empty Arms

A couple years into our journey, someone I know showed me this link. I’ve kept it in my favorites since then. It’s basically my life, all laid out right there. Check it out.


Our story isn’t unusual and we haven’t gone to quite the lengths that a lot of couples have, yet. We’ve done a few procedures. Actually September was the one year mark since we started those procedures. I keep getting a large bill in the mail and yesterday I received another one that said:
“Pay in full within 10 days or your account will be sent to collections with x company.”

Great. Fabulous. Ya know what? Don’t they think that if we had the money to “pay in full” that we would’ve a long time ago? It really frickin sucks that we went through the rigorous doctor’s appointments and procedures to come out of it three months later with no pregnancy and a large-ass bill hanging over our heads!

We still don’t even know the exact reason why we’re “infertile”. We only know that I might, possibly have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) or endometriosis. The problem doesn’t lie entirely with me, though. Kyle isn’t Mr. Super Sperm, unfortunately. We were supposed to go in and do more testing last December, but that would’ve led into another cycle of procedures, which, we most certainly, could NOT afford.

Anyway, getting that bill yesterday just really infuriated me. I don’t know what the hell we’re gonna do. Gotta call them on Monday, I guess.

I’ve got so much crap rolling around in my head, but I think this is enough for right now.



  1. Hmm… I understand that the doctors have costs and time to cover, but still – you’d think that if you haven’t achieved the desired results from their procedures, you should get a reduced bill. I mean – a store wouldn’t expect you to pay them money and then walk out of the door with nothing, right?!

  2. AMEN!! I totally and completely agree!

  3. Infertile Myrtle, my heart breaks for you and your husband. My heart breaks for myself and my husband. I am throughly touched by your post and honesty. My prayer for you and your husband is that you will find a way to be at peace. That you might find peace where you are now, with all that surrounds you and the circumstances you cannot control, you find peace and safe haven, even without the answers you so urgently want.

    A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

    You may think I post this scripture lightly, I assure you I do not. I am 32, married 10 years and have not been able to conceive. I too know the envy and pain when we are confronted with pregnant bellies, and little toes and fingers. However I also have found peace and delight in the little things that sometimes, even if only for a minute, makes the world seem brighter and more bearable. It’s this peace that I will pray for you.

  4. My mother, no longer with us, worked for a bank. Send these people $10. According to the advice I was given at the time (in case I ever needed it) as long as you’re showing “good faith” in trying to repay there isn’t a darn thing they can do to you. Now I’m not a lawyer, but my mother worked in Collections. So… send them $5 it doesn’t matter, along with a note explaining “this is what I can afford and you will get some payment from me each month according to what we can afford.” Hope this helps! (BTW, you’re dad got me over here *smile!*)

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